There's a Hole In My Bucket !

If you've not seen the Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman movie, "The Bucket List", you really should. I won't attempt a review, but suffice it to say that when you do see it, you will probably start your own list of "Things to do before I kick the bucket". Having the list is great, but the list is just a list. Crossing things off the list is the point of the exercise.

I'll bet you're thinking, "Geez, now I'm going to have to sit here and read Lehr's stupid list." You're right, but it will be at the end of this piece, so you'll have plenty of time to click the big old "X" up in the corner.

I had a great time making my list, but not before I had even more fun with my "Hole In My Bucket List"; things that I have absolutely no intention of ever doing, no matter how long I have before I dent the pail. I encourage you to do the same, and a plus feature is that you can cross everything off your "Hole In The Bucket List" immediately, since anything you're NOT going to do is done the moment you write it down. Sweet !

Lehr's Hole In My Bucket List

1. Climb Rosy Mound.

Rosy Mound is a tall sand dune just south of Grand Haven, Michigan. The Rosy Mound website says that there is "1,000 feet of steps, up and down the dunes: (can be somewhat strenuous)". I'm not doin' that. FYI: I'm not climbin' the Matterhorn or Mount Everest either. I know a lot of people put stuff like that on their Bucket Lists. All I have to say about that is, "Are you crazy ? It's a Bucket List, not a How to Kick the Bucket List.

2. Swim Across anything.

English Channel, Lake Michigan, Kiddie Pool at the Holiday Inn, name your puddle. I ain't swimmin' it. I didn't like swimming when I could do it.

3. Hike the Allegheny Trail (insert "Any" for Allegheny).

If it entails hiking boots, a back-pack and a walking stick, count me out. I walked home from my High School girlfriend's house one night (56 blocks), and I figure I did my time. I'll do the Boardwalk at Grand Haven, or 24 laps at the Fitness Center (2 miles), but "Hike" ? Huh-uh.

4. Bungee Jumping.

If you think I'm even close to being that crazy, we need to discuss our "friendship".

5. Learn Ballroom Dancing and/or watch "Dancing With the Stars".

I will get some heat from my daughter, Samantha, on this. She used to be a Professional Ballroom Dancer and Instructor. I loved watching her but now I look at it this way; I'm not going to dance because when I dance I sweat and when I sweat I stink and when I stink, the girls won't dance with me.

6. Travel to the Middle East, i.e. places where people would rather shoot me than tie their shoes.

My Darlin' Darlene lived in Iran for a few years, leaving just before the Hostages were taken.

If I get curious about anything in the Middle East, I'll ask her about it. If she ever gets a yen to go visit again, I'll even help pay for the Therapist.

7. Fly with my younger brother, Steve.

Steve is a retired Air Force Major. He used to ask me to "go up" with him quite often. I don't even like flying with people who get paid to do it. And, I remember what he was like when he was a kid. He wasn't uncoordinated, but he broke his arm jumping 2 feet off of a porch.

I could keep going on and on and on, but you'd probably say, "Dang ! He just keeps going on and on and on." So, as promised, here's my Bucket List.

Lehr's Bucket List

1. Travel the USA in my (our) own Class A.

Dar and I share this dream. I have a Western Loop all mapped out. It helps that we have a lot of Western relatives to visit with wonderful things to see along the way. How does this sound ? We head straight to Denver, through the Rockies and down to Albuquerque (relative stop). Then west again to Huntington Beach, CA (Dar's brother Bob). Now north to Garberville, CA (my daughter Alicia). Then up to Seattle (relative stop), on to Vancouver and then to Jasper, Alberta. Back down to Yellowstone and home by way of the Black Hills in South Dakota. Should take at least a couple weeks.

2. Take a Hot Air Balloon Ride.

3. Watch the Pelicans feeding off Dauphin Island in Mobile Bay.

That's it. I'm a simple man.

Have yourself a wonderful day, because it's a wonderful day out there !

Later,

Don Lehr (Michguy)