No Friends Like Old Friends

First, I must apologize to all of you loyal Senior Speak visitors who check in regularly, just thirsting for more, only to be disappointed that I haven't posted any new whatevers, to enlighten and regale you. I've been busy; very, very busy. Other than that, not much has been happening. I will be posting much more regularly, so save this site in your Favorites and come back often.

Now for the good stuff.

A short time ago, Mitch Albom did a piece for Parade magazine called "How I Got Young Again", in which he told about what he did for his Fiftieth birthday. He said that this gift to himself was his best birthday gift, ever.

He went back to his hometown in New Jersey and contacted his old best friends; the members of his teen-age rock band called "The Lucky Tiger Grease Stick Band". They always practiced in Mitch's basement. His old home had been sold long before, but the present owners, God bless 'em, agreed to let the reunited "Lucky Tiger Greasers" use their basement, one last time. Ya just gotta love this video ! But, after you watch it, keep reading. "The Lucky Tiger Grease Stick Band" is just the opening act.



In his piece, Mitch had two great "Before and After" photos, one of the 8 members (remember that number, 8) taken when they were teen-agers, and one taken at the band's reunion. Unfortunately, I couldn't locate those photos. But, there are No Friends Like Old Friends, especially if, like Mitch Albom, you have 7 of them.

You're about to meet 7 of the main reasons why "I yam who I yam". You probably don't care, but, it is my website, so please humor me. These are 7 of the finest Old Friends (more like brothers) that a man could have. "The Guys". Not quite as catchy as "The Lucky Tiger Grease Stick Band", but we don't play instruments and sing either.

The Guys

L to R, Front: Ram, Lehr, Stek, Schans
L to R Rear: Chas, Fuzz, Toad, Dirk

Photo taken in 1962

L to R, Front: Ram, Lehr, Stek, Schans
L to R, Rear: Chas, Fuzz, Toad, Dirk

Photo taken in 2002

I met Fuzz in the Spring of 1955, Chas in the Fall of '55, and the other Guys in the Fall of '57, in High School. We were just your typical mild-mannered, respectful teen-agers then, and I think you'll agree that we've all improved with age. We never got in any trouble, but my Darlin' Darlene says that that's only because we never got caught.

One tiny character flaw does come to mind though, that I'll share with you. It occurred in the Spring of our Senior Year in High School. Like all Senior classes, we had elections to decide career changing issues like class colors, class song (hymn), class Bible verse (we attended Grand Rapids Christian High School), class idiot etc. Toad was the Class President or Vice-President, I don't recall which, but he and a few of us other Guys were in charge of counting the ballots. Why they actually put us in charge of anything was a major lapse on their part, in my opinion, so they actually caused us to fall part way from Grace anyway.

The counting went well except for the winning song (hymn). I had been chosen by our Choir Czarina to be the Senior who was to sing the Class song (hymn) at Graduation. The winning song (hymn) was one that I particularly disliked, since it had an extremely high note that I could not hit without screeching. I told Toad, "Ain't no wayI'm singin' that song (hymn)". Typically, Toad said, "No problem. Which one of the other song (hymn) nominees would you like". I sensed a problem and said, " What about the ballots?" Toad replied, "We'll burn 'em. All important elections should have the ballots burned. If it's good enough for the Catholics, it's good enough for us." As it happened, a new Pope had just been elected, and it had been all over the news, and the burning of the Papal ballots had apparently caught Toad's fancy. We weren't Catholic, but borrowing a little from Church Tradition didn't really amount to a conversion, was pretty much how our logic went.

So, we went in search for a ballot burning vessel. We approached George the Janitor, and asked for a can or something. He said he didn't have a can but he had a cardboard box. Curiously, he never asked what we needed it for, but he did say that he definitely needed it back. We promised to return it. We proceeded to the School parking lot, and ignited the ballots which promptly ignited the box. We beat out the flames, and re-ignited the ballots, which re-ignited the box, and ...you get the picture. It required several re-ignitions to destroy the evidence without totally destroying the box, which we dutifully returned to George the Janitor. He just stared at the box. I guess we expected him to show some sort of surprise. We'll never know. Throwing an election is not something to take lightly, and it did weigh heavily on me and caused me to question my personal integrity for a time. I'm sure it had the same effect on the other Guys, but we've gotten over it. I got through the song (hymn) nicely, thank you very much.

Unlike Mitch, we've kept in close touch throughout all of the ensuing years, and the friendships have just grown stronger. We're scattered from Salt Lake City to Ponte Vedra Beach, and places between, but like old friends everywhere, whenever we get together, and we do quite often, it's as if we'd never left.

I'll revisit the Guys from time to time here in these posts, perhaps with titles like:

Sign, Sign, Everywhere a Sign

Chicken Thief, What's In a Name; How I Discovered Respect For The Law

Bridge and Blackjack May Come and Go, But Setback Lives Forever

Beer; An Acquired Taste

Grandma's Olds; Door One or Door Two ?

So, love your new friends but cherish your old ones. They've come a long way with you, and they love you in spite of it all.

I welcome your comments, questions, suggestions or criticisms, so please click on the Comment button and fire away.

Have yourself a wonderful day, because it's a wonderful day out there.

Later,

Don Lehr (Michguy)

Feeling "Senior" ?

Bette Davis once said, "Old age is no place for sissies". In fact, she had it embroidered on a pillow that was prominently placed on a sofa. I'm not sure if she was right or not, since I'm not "old", yet. I hope to be one day, but for now, I'm fairly content with just being "Senior". I don't know when you actually become "old", but I think it happens when you just feel "old", and I must admit, I have my moments.

I felt a little old (I got tired of typing those " "s ) last week when I was picking up a prescription, which can make you feel a little old, in and of itself. The Pharmacist handed my drugs to a young assistant, and gestured to me. The young lady asked, obviously thinking that I couldn't hear her, "Oh, for that older fellow ?". Yep, I felt a little old, but only for a moment.

For quite some time now, I've enjoyed claiming my Senior discounts. That has never bothered me a bit. There's something heartwarming about paying $4.00 for a $7.50 movie ticket. But, lately I've been getting a few discounts without asking for them, and that kinda makes me feel old, but only for a moment.

I get the AARP publications in the mail, and find myself looking over my shoulder to see if any neighbors noticed, but, what the heck, most of them are older than me anyway. I'm starting to get fliers about Diabetic supplies, and VIAGRA! for Pete's sake. And, of all things, last week I got a catalog in the mail from "Active and Able, Products That Make Daily Living Easier". I felt incensed, and somewhat older, but only for a moment. Unfortunately, these moments appear to be happening more often, as I get...older.

Last evening, our oldest grandson, Ryan, called. It seems that he has proposed to his wonderful Jeanette, and she accepted. We had been anticipating this for some time now. I can't speak for my Darlin' Darlene, but that made me feel OLD. And, the moment hasn't quite passed. I expect the feeling will lurk there, in the back of my mind, since his announcement carries with it the Sword of Damocles called great-grandchildren, just hanging there. I am thrilled for him and Jeanette, and I congratulate them both, and I'll just deal with the older thing. It's not their problem.

There is one thing, though, that consistently makes me feel old, and I have to do it, every two weeks, since that's how many containers I have, and I ain't buying any more of them. Every two weeks, I drag out my drug stash, sit down at the island in the kitchen, and count out my pills into those danged pill compartments. Now, that makes me feel old. I suppose that I could just stop filling the prescriptions and not have to deal with it. But, I probably wouldn't get much older, either. Rather than that, I think I'll simply apply a lesson that I've learned from my brother Lonnie's approach to a golf problem that he faced, and I'd recommend this to all of you.

Lonnie had driven his ball past the Out-of-Bounds stakes. We drove up to his ball, and instead of picking it up and dropping it back In-Bounds and taking the required penalty stroke, he lined up to hit it again. I mentioned that it seemed to me that he was Out-of-Bounds. He never flinched, and just before he struck the ball again, he calmly replied, " She's Out-of-Bounds when I say she's Out-of-Bounds". I'll be Old when I say I'm Old.

Have a wonderful day, because it's a wonderful day out there !

Later,

Don Lehr (Michguy)

Bottoms Up !

Bottoms up! Cheers! Here's to ya! Gotcha! Today's post isn't about drinking at all. Since my last post was about snoring and how it can negatively affect your health, I decided to follow up with another health related piece. Snoring, of course occurs at the top end of the Alimentary Canal. Today's gem of rambling ribaldry will involve the other end of the spectrum; the bottom of the Alimentary Canal.

Since the name of this blog is Senior Speak, I'm assuming that most of you readers are in the Over Fifty crowd. That being the case, I'm also assuming that most of you have followed your Doctor's advice, and paid a visit to your friendly Gastroenterologist for that dreaded Colonoscopy. If you haven't, get your courage up, swallow your pride (though it will be purged) and make that appointment. It could save your life, and it isn't nearly as bad as you might think. I mean the Colonoscopy itself isn't as bad as you might think. The night before, however, is quite a different matter.

The night before is one of those experiences that falls into that cliche'd, "...class of it's own". Describing it is simply not to be done amongst polite society. Suffice it to say that after drinking astounding amounts of vile potions, your colon performs a series (that's more than one, Marie. You ain't gonna just sit down once.) of constrictions that would make an Anaconda blush, resulting in a cleansing of almost Biblical proportions. You will sleep well. The rest is a piece of cake. Side Note: My Gastroenterologist's nurse neglected to tell me to stop taking my blood thinners for 5 days before my first Colonoscopy, so I got to do all of this twice within 2 weeks. What a treat!

The Colonoscopy itself is a breeze, thanks to modern pharmacology. They administer a "Happy Cocktail" which creates the most incredible high for a few brief moments. They tell me that you never actually "go under", but you'll have no knowledge of any of the proceedings, thank God. The only post-probing negative, is the purging of an incredible amount of air that, I swear, they pump in there, just for laughs.

My first experience of the probing of my nether regions was not the Colonoscopy, but it's baby brother, the Flexible Sigmoidoscopy, a carryover fom the Spanish Inquisition. This procedure has, deservedly, fallen from favor, it's thunder having been stolen by the Colonoscopy.

My Internist is a wonderful Italian. Every time I go for my yearly physical, he enters the examination room singing a few bars of an Italian aria in a gorgeous Baritone. When the exam is over, he slips off the rubber glove, washes his hands and exits with a "God bless you". What's not to love ?

After one of these visits some years ago, he said, "Let's see. You're 50 years old. I want you to schedule a Flexible Sigmoidoscopy with my Nurse when you leave." He explained that it was a procedure that was something like a Colonoscopy, but with a much shorter scope. Being something of a smart ass, I asked, "Flexible ? Is there such a thing as an Inflexible Sigmioidoscopy ?" He, being an even smarter ass, replied without so much as a blink of an eye, "Yes, but we don't do those anymore." I, of course, asked, "Why not ?" "Because the scope was inflexible, and we had to beat them in with a rubber mallet. The screaming disturbed the other patients. God bless you."

I am a very private person when it pertains to my bodily functions, so the prospect of having to set an appointment for that type of procedure with his female Nurse, was quite disturbing. I decided to lighten the situation with humor. When I booked the appointment, I told the Nurse, quite animatedly, " I've never had one of these before, and I'm so excited that I'm going wear my Argyle socks, and buy a brand new hat." She laughed, bless her heart.

On the appointed day, I wore my Argyles, but the hat thing was just in jest. I entered the exam room, stripped down to my socks and put on the godawful backless gown. My Doctor entered, singing, exchanged a few pleasantries and then told me to roll onto my side. So, there I am, mooning him when he says,"Oh, by the way, we're going to be joined by my Nurse and a Student Nurse. I was sure you wouldn't mind." In they walked, and actually greeted my backside with, "Good morning." I, of course, responded in like. The Doctor began his task, and when the scope was just shy of my shoulder blades, he paused and said, "Hey, nice socks ! Where's your hat ?"

I wouldn't leave him for anything. He's a great Doctor, and he always insists that I book next year's appointment before I leave. I find that a reassuring vote of confidence. At least he thinks that I've got 365 more days.

Colon cancer is no laughing matter, and a Colonoscopy is only a minor inconvenience. Book one.

Have a wonderful day, because it's a wonderful day out there !


Later,

Don Lehr (Michguy)

Welcome to Senior Speak

Good morning, and welcome to Senior Speak! It's a gorgeous September morning here in West Michigan, and I'm hoping it's the same where you are.

This post is the first of many that will celebrate the wonderful lifestyle of us "Over-Fifties" and any younger "wannabes" that want to come along. For some of us, getting here was a struggle, for some others, a breeze. But, since we're here, let's get on with it and wring every bit of joy out of every day that we have!

We're going to be talking about danged near anything that comes to mind. I say "we", since I sincerely welcome your comments and criticisms with the caveat that it is, after all, my site.

I'm a Motorhome nut, and I'm sure we'll talk a bit about travel. We'll talk about health and fitness, great books and music, food and wine, sins of our past and sins planned for the future, and anything you'd like to talk about. But, I do have to set some guidelines: No fabrications, no embellishing of stories, no religion or politics, no sex stuff and no talk about Gin. I reserve all of those rights for me.

I see that the mail just arrived and a fellow told me that he was putting a check in the mail and I know it'll be there, so I'm outta here for now.

Later,

Don Lehr (Michguy)

Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy

Web Site Terms and Conditions of Use and Privacy Policy

1. Terms

By accessing this web site, you are agreeing to be bound by these web site Terms and Conditions of Use, all applicable laws and regulations, and agree that you are responsible for compliance with any applicable local laws. If you do not agree with any of these terms, you are prohibited from using or accessing this site. The materials contained in this web site are protected by applicable copyright and trade mark law.

2. Use License

1. Permission is granted to temporarily download one copy of the materials (information or software) on Donald Lehr's web site for personal, non-commercial transitory viewing only. This is the grant of a license, not a transfer of title, and under this license you may not:
   
   
   
   1. modify or copy the materials;
   
   
   2. use the materials for any commercial purpose, or for any public display (commercial or non-commercial);
   
   
   3. attempt to decompile or reverse engineer any software contained on Donald Lehr's web site;
   
   
   4. remove any copyright or other proprietary notations from the materials; or
   
   
   5. transfer the materials to another person or "mirror" the materials on any other server.


2. This license shall automatically terminate if you violate any of these restrictions and may be terminated by Donald Lehr at any time. Upon terminating your viewing of these materials or upon the termination of this license, you must destroy any downloaded materials in your possession whether in electronic or printed format.

3. Disclaimer

1. The materials on Donald Lehr's web site are provided "as is". Donald Lehr makes no warranties, expressed or implied, and hereby disclaims and negates all other warranties, including without limitation, implied warranties or conditions of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, or non-infringement of intellectual property or other violation of rights. Further, Donald Lehr does not warrant or make any representations concerning the accuracy, likely results, or reliability of the use of the materials on its Internet web site or otherwise relating to such materials or on any sites linked to this site.

4. Limitations

In no event shall Donald Lehr or his suppliers be liable for any damages (including, without limitation, damages for loss of data or profit, or due to business interruption,) arising out of the use or inability to use the materials on Donald Lehr's Internet site, even if Donald Lehr or his authorized representative has been notified orally or in writing of the possibility of such damage. Because some jurisdictions do not allow limitations on implied warranties, or limitations of liability for consequential or incidental damages, these limitations may not apply to you.

5. Revisions and Errata

The materials appearing on Donald Lehr's web site could include technical, typographical, or photographic errors. Donald Lehr does not warrant that any of the materials on his web site are accurate, complete, or current. Donald Lehr may make changes to the materials contained on his web site at any time without notice. Donald Lehr does not, however, make any commitment to update the materials.

6. Links

Donald Lehr has not reviewed all of the sites linked to his Internet web site and is not responsible for the contents of any such linked site. The inclusion of any link does not imply endorsement by Donald Lehr of the site. Use of any such linked web site is at the user's own risk.

7. Site Terms of Use Modifications

Donald Lehr may revise these terms of use for his web site at any time without notice. By using this web site you are agreeing to be bound by the then current version of these Terms and Conditions of Use.

8. Governing Law

Any claim relating to Donald Lehr's web site shall be governed by the laws of the State of Michigan without regard to its conflict of law provisions.

General Terms and Conditions applicable to Use of a Web Site.

Privacy Policy

Your privacy is very important to us. Accordingly, we have developed this Policy in order for you to understand how we collect, use, communicate and disclose and make use of personal information. The following outlines our privacy policy.

• Before or at the time of collecting personal information, we will identify the purposes for which information is being collected.


• We will collect and use of personal information solely with the objective of fulfilling those purposes specified by us and for other compatible purposes, unless we obtain the consent of the individual concerned or as required by law.


• We will only retain personal information as long as necessary for the fulfillment of those purposes.


• We will collect personal information by lawful and fair means and, where appropriate, with the knowledge or consent of the individual concerned.


• Personal data should be relevant to the purposes for which it is to be used, and, to the extent necessary for those purposes, should be accurate, complete, and up-to-date.


• We will protect personal information by reasonable security safeguards against loss or theft, as well as unauthorized access, disclosure, copying, use or modification.


• We will make readily available to customers information about our policies and practices relating to the management of personal information.

We are committed to conducting our business in accordance with these principles in order to ensure that the confidentiality of personal information is protected and maintained.