Senior Speaks Again !

No, I am not dead nor have I been dead for the past three years. Some of you may find this hard to believe, but the truth of the matter is that the silence on "Senior Speak" can only be attributed to the fact that I really couldn't think of much to say. My Darlin' Dar says, "Baloney! That never stopped you from talking dawn to dark before." So, with those words serving as a boot in the butt, Senior Speaks Again! (Redundancy has rarely bothered me in the past, but "...Senior Speak Speaks Again!" seemed a little much even for me.) You may be assuming that I have suddenly discovered a new muse, and have a new lease on worthwhile things to write about. Not so much. I've just gotten tired of being quiet; worthwhile has never been a factor.

I've learned a lot these last three years; most of it since I retired a little over a year ago.
F'rinstance, I've learned that it is actually possible to check the tag on a teeshirt three times and still put it on backwards. The same holds true for undershorts, but checking three times requires a lack of awareness of the location of the fly that approaches moronic proportions, and is, in actuality, clearly stupid.

I've learned that turn signals are the most useless and subsequently the most dangerous thing on a vehicle. About the only people that usually use them correctly are truckers. Trusting a blinking or non-blinking turn signal to be a dependable representation of the driver's real intentions, to the point of actually acting upon this trust, demands an act of faith that could move Mount Everest to Cairo. I saw a person (I ain't no sexist) in Denver charge across three lanes of traffic into the left turn lane with the right turn signal blinking. When the light changed the driver went straight, then swerved back into the non-turn lane and went merrily along, blinker signalling all the while. I wouldn't have been any more surprised if the car had gone straight up.

I've learned to never be bothered by other driver's hand signals, and you'd be amazed at how many you get when you drive a 37' Motor Coach, especially on 2-lane roads. I think 55 mph is a perfectly respectable and safe speed. Apparently, I'm in the minority.

And, I've learned that retirement is nothing like I imagined it would be; it's so much better, but so much busier. Dar and I can't figure out how we had time to work. Going to bed when you're tired instead of when it's time, and getting up when you wake-up instead of when the alarm rings might have something to do with it. Sorry! I sure don't want to upset any Senior wannabes.

I've learned a few other things but they're rather trivial compared to the good stuff above, so I won't bore you with it.

I'm thinking that I should wrap up this post or I just might write everything that I haven't written yet. Then I'd be right back where I was before I started this Senior Speak revival. Or (like this might happen) I might have to find something worthwhile to say. By the way (now this is worthwhile) I've been wondering about a lot of stuff, and I've really been wondering just when cars without blackwall tires actually started looking normal and those with whitewalls started looking strange.

Oh, one more thing. This is not a "learned", this is an "occurred to me". It recently occurred to me that (joyfully) I have finally reached that wonderful age that I no longer have enough time left to grow up.

Have a wonderful day because it's a wonderful day out there!

Don Lehr (Michguy)